Living in a multi-racial society, Singaporeans are in constant interaction with people of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. With time, we gradually learn about each other's practices, languages, and norms, and we seemingly internalize these ideas and apply them in our daily life. In Singapore, we tend to categorize these cultural differences by race, into neat little blocks of "Chinese, Malay, Indian, Eurasian".
However, these perceived cultural differences can often lead to miscommunication. As my girlfriend, Jeo, is of Chinese-Indian heritage, her slight brown skin tone has resulted in countless interesting misunderstandings. Amongst them, a particularly memorable incident has stuck with me.
That day, we were at a food court, ordering food from a Chinese auntie. After a brief conversation with her in mandarin, I ordered my food. However, Jeo was still undecided over her order, and had this puzzled look as she pondered the menu. Clearly mistaking Jeo for a malay, the auntie interjected: "Girl, we also sell mee goreng here! No pork! Very nice!". With that, she continued trying to promote all her non-pork dishes. Till this day, I still vividly remember how the auntie's jaw dropped when Jeo replied in fluent mandarin.
Having witnessed many similar incidents, I always took special notice of how people wrongly "categorized" and interpreted her cultural background. Even amongst people who knew she spoke mandarin, their mandarin interchanges always sounded unnatural, or even forced. It was strange! There seemed to be this clear divide between who she identifies herself as, and who other people persist in identifying her as. Fortunately, she is able to see the light-hearted side in this, and derive amusement from it.
In the process of effective intercultural communication, understanding and adapting towards different cultures is essential to avoiding unnecessary conflict and tension. While it is normal to develop pre-conceived notions about someone's cultural background based on their appearance, we should refrain from overgeneralizing and jumping into conclusions. With that, we should keep in mind that regardless of culture, every individual is unique, and we should stay flexible and keep an open mind!
Hey Peter!
ReplyDeleteThis is a interesting point that you have brought up when evaluating the aunty's behaviour. The fact is we all do categorize people into certain schemas on first impression. As such, we react and behave in the way we feel necessary to the people belonging in that schema. It could be either frustrating or amusing to watch the aunty speaking to Jeo as if she were Malay. However we should take note here that the aunty was being nice in wanting to accommodate Jeo's 'food preferences' and I think due credit has to be given to the aunty.
Like what you say, we, however, should not be ready to instantly stereotype the people that we encounter. In Singapore, we have four distinct races: Chinese, Malay, Indian and Others. As Singaporeans, we tend to immediately categorize the people we encounter into one of the four races. We fail to recognize that someone may not fall into just one category (for example a 'Chindian') and also that within each category there are many different sub-types. An instance of sub-type would be that amongst Indians, there are the South Indians who can be Tamil, Telegu, Malayalee just to name a few. The same can be said for the Chinese and Malays and 'Others' as well.
It is most definitely difficult to distinguish theses sub-cultures, but we definitely should be aware that they do exist. It is with this awareness that we can be more open-minded and flexible. In this case, the aunty should have taken the hint that Jeo was queuing for food at her stall and not at a Halal stall instead. I guess for Jeo, she has had one too many of such encounters, and just finds them amusing. In this way, she too has adapted her reaction to people when they mistake her identity!
Darsha
Hi Darsha,
DeleteThanks for your feedback! I agree with you that Singapore is a melting pot of different cultures and subcultures. I guess, that is what makes our country so interesting and unique!
Cheers,
Weizhe
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fascinating discussion on identity, Peter. The fact that your girlfriend is perceived in a way that is contrary to her actual background based on her appearance shows just how complex the issue can be. You do a very fine job of describing the interaction here and sharing your ideas on the dangers of preconceptions.
ReplyDeleteAs I was writing this comment, it struck me that while both Darsha and I refer to you as Peter, your Singaporean Chinese classmates seem to use WeiZhe in communicating with you. This illustrates how the identity issue is not just one of perception but also of convenience. For the aunty in your story, assuming that Jeo is Malay makes her life easier, and gives her a chance to sell an item from the menu that might otherwise not get equal attention.
Thanks for inspiring this discussion, and for the effort!
Hi Brad,
DeleteThanks for your feedback! Yes, that is very true that even for my name, diffrent people seem to prefer communicating with me differently! I guess non-chinese generally find it harder to pronounce chinese names, and therefore choose to stick to my english name. But it is alright!
Cheers,
Weizhe